Posts

The Four Horsemen in Revelation — Part II: The Red Horse

Image
T he vision continues as the Lamb opens the second seal. In the unfolding sequence described in the Book of Revelation, another rider appears—this time mounted on a red horse. The passage describes the rider as being granted the power to remove peace from the earth, resulting in widespread violence among people. The rider is also given a great sword. “Then another horse came out, a fiery red one… its rider was given power to take peace from the earth.” — Revelation 6:3–4 Unlike the first rider, whose identity has been debated for centuries, the symbolism of the second rider is far more direct. The imagery points clearly toward violence and conflict. The Red Horse The horse is described as fiery red . The Greek word used in the text is pyrrhos , meaning “fire-colored.” The root of the word comes from pyr , the Greek word for fire. From the same root we derive English words such as pyrotechnics and pyromania . This description suggests something more in...

The Four Horsemen in Revelation — Part I: The White Horse

Image
T he Four Horsemen are part of a prophetic vision described in the Book of Revelation. In this vision, a scroll sealed with seven seals is opened by the Lamb. As the first four seals are broken, four riders appear one after another. These figures have come to be known as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse . Within the narrative of Revelation, the riders appear as part of a prophecy concerning events associated with the end times. Each rider represents a force that emerges as the seals of the scroll are opened. The Four Horsemen in Sequence First Rider — White Horse Conquest (sometimes interpreted as Pestilence) Revelation 6:1–2 Second Rider — Red Horse War Revelation 6:3–4 Third Rider — Black Horse Famine Revelation 6:5–6 Fourth Rider — Pale Horse Death Revelation 6:7–8 This sequence appears as the first four seals are opened in the vision described in the Book of Revelation. Each rider emerges in succession, forming the pattern commonly referred to as th...

No Baseline!?

Image
I woke up this morning, and the haziness was still there. I knew today was the day of my counseling consultation. I felt a little optimism — like I was at least moving in a positive direction. I ended up at the food court and ordered tacos. They packed so many ingredients into the first one that I ordered an extra tortilla and made a second taco from the overflow. I’m resourceful. I stopped by to see my friend Robert at the building and told him I was there for my session. We caught up briefly. Then I headed down for the appointment. I was about 30 minutes early so I could eat and get myself calibrated. I filled out the preliminary paperwork. Mostly checkboxes. Questions about urgency. Whether I wanted to hurt myself or anyone else. Mood scales. No space for specifics — just boxes to quantify what’s wrong and how severe it is. A counselor named Jessica greeted me. We sat down. She asked what brought me in. She went over the standard confidentiality policy. Every...

Trial and Error

Image
I t started with a fresh haircut. Just around the ears and the base of my head. Cleaned up. Maintained. I still have goals of growing it back out the way I had it before someone chopped it off without care. That’s still the vision. This is maintenance, not surrender. Then I went to Sprouts for some calming drink mix with magnesium. Quick update: Sprouts moved from Airline. You’ll now find it in the shopping strip by Shoe Carnival, near Best Buy at Everhart and SPID. That was the mission. Something to take the edge off. Nothing dramatic. And then my body decided otherwise. My saliva got thick. My sinus passages dried up. I started hyperventilating. I needed water. That’s sympathetic nervous system activation. Fight-or-flight. Adrenaline. Sudafed — pseudoephedrine — can increase heart rate and anxiety. Add dehydration. Add grief shock. Add a recent cold. Physiology under load. My nervous system spiked. Here’s what mattered. I asked for...

On the Bridge

Image
 Friday, February 27, 2026 — 10:46 PM I haven't been feeling well all day. I'm trying to hang and be normal, but inside there is a storm. A storm of emotions, pain, chemicals, traumas, etc. I just need peace. I made a choice to solidly stay home. Get better. Originally, my idea was to use my healing toolbox with EMDR, breathing, grounding, etc., and still continue to do life until my mind catches up with my body. That hasn't been working. I need respite. I’ll be solidly staying home and working with my self-healing tools. No outside activities aside from my tent in the front yard and my hammock time in the park. I need to really let my body and mind completely stop spinning. I hate this. It feels like I'm actually on the bridge between normalcy and whatever this is, but more so on the opposite side of healing, slowly heading that direction. I've been here before. I got through this before. I can d...

Alignment Before Prayer

Image
  Sometimes we don’t even realize the ways we’ve sinned against Him. That is why repentance matters. Not as a ritual. Not as fear. But as clarity. Scripture does not teach that God refuses to hear anyone who is imperfect — if that were the case, no one would ever be heard. However, Scripture does show that ongoing, cherished sin can hinder prayer, unforgiveness can disrupt fellowship, motives matter, and confession brings restoration. Spiritual alignment before prayer is not about earning access to God. It is about removing relational barriers so that communion with Him is clear and unhindered. The Barrier: When Sin Is Held Onto Psalm 66:18 states, “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.” The emphasis is not on struggling. It is on cherishing. There is a difference between battling weakness and protecting it. When sin is protected, intimacy is disrupted. Relational Integrity Matters Jesus teaches in Mark 11:25 that when we stand...

What Happens in Vagus

Image
  UNMUTE AUDIO Stay Alert. Stay Guarded. Stay Ready. That wasn’t a philosophy. It was installed. Recognizing fight or flight. The body remembers. It can flip the switch on you unannounced. It’s hard to come back. Even when you slightly have what feels like normal, you can slip right back into hypervigilance. Lately, I’ve been suffering heavily from dissociation. Today was a bad day. Very disconnected. It’s a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Hyperarousal — alert, guarded, wired. Dissociation — numb, detached, unreal. Emotional release — tears, grief, anger, overwhelm. I’m moving through all of it. This isn’t random. It’s autonomic state shifting. The vagus nerve sits at the center of it. Hyperarousal When the sympathetic system dominates, I’m scanning. Tight. Ready. Heart rate elevated. Muscles braced. Attention narrowed. No immediate threats — yet everything feels triggering. That’s a sensitiz...

Am I Evil?

Image
  UNMUTE AUDIO   The Question We Avoid Some may say, “If you have to ask, you probably are.” That kind of statement shuts the door before the conversation even begins. It assumes evil is obvious. Loud. Deliberate. But what if the more dangerous place isn’t asking the question? What if it’s never asking at all? Because evil rarely announces itself. It doesn’t feel sinister or dramatic. It feels justified. It feels protective. It feels reasonable. Most people do not wake up intending to become corrupt. They wake up intending to protect themselves. And somewhere in that process, something subtle begins to shift. Not rebellion. Drift. You don’t wake up evil. You drift there — one justified decision at a time. A Bad Day vs. A Formed Heart Drift doesn’t always look like collapse. Sometimes it looks like pressure. Sometimes it looks like fear. Scripture gives us a clear contrast. Peter had a bad d...

Knock 'Em Dead

Image
This is my first comedic open mic. I’ve done open mics before. Slam poetry. My own music. Concerts. Even karaoke. Standing in front of people isn’t new to me. Comedy is. I was planning to go up tonight. Instead, I’ve been up most of the night coughing. Barely slept. Throat wrecked. You can’t do comedy if you can’t breathe right. So I’m not going tonight. That’s it. This Life, Death & Culture writer might actually have a pulse. Maybe I do have something in me that isn’t heavy. Maybe I can pull a few laughs. But not like this. However, I was able to finish my Sh*t Magnet entry. The open mic will be there next week. Or the week after that. I’m not rushing it. In the meantime, I’m putting up a tent in the front yard. No national park. Just space. I’ll probably bring Monkey with me. The stage isn’t going anywhere. I’ll keep you posted. Knock ’em dead? Possibly. Just not tonight. — Los

Sh*t Magnet

Image
Unmute Alright, so here’s the deal.  First off, I want to talk about the whole sh*t magnet thing. Like I’ve mentioned in previous blog entries, it’s been a running family thing since I was younger. I always encounter these people who seem to float around life f*cking with other people — messing with other people — and people allow themselves to be messed with. They allow themselves to be doormats .  But when these people end up confronting me — these disgusting people — I don’t bend. I don’t play that sh*t. I end up putting them in their place.  Most of the time, these are ugly people in the sense that you can tell they have bad attitudes — the way they talk, the way they carry themselves. They move with poor energy. Maybe they need to tweak something about themselves. I don’t know.  All I know is there are bad people in the world, and they treat other people horribly. And some good people they treat ill j...