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Me vs. Me: Manifesting Across the Multiverse

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UNMUTE A ging. I hate aging. Not only for myself. I hate it for my father, my pets, my friends and everyone I love. And I hated it for my mother. I hated watching age take hold of her while she was here. More than any one person, though, I hate the fact that aging exists at all. I hate death. Death is that freaking barricade between us and them—the ones we’ve lost. They may still exist in our memories, our stories and everything they left inside us, but there is still something standing between where they are and where we are. Time keeps ticking, and we keep losing people. I hate it. Today, I had to take my father to the emergency room. Something random and strange started happening to him. His symptoms seemed to be leading somewhere that wasn’t good, and the best thing I could do—the only thing I could do—was get him to the emergency room. Just seven days earlier, I had been in the hospital myself. ...
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THE LINE: REACHING THE BOTTOM

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UNMUTE A while back, I wrote two entries called The Line, Down and The Line: Further Down. I was exploring suffering, death, suicide, autonomy, and that line where suffering becomes so great that a person begins to question whether continuing to exist inside of it is something they can—or should have to—do. At the time, I was exploring a line. Lately, I've gotten much closer to understanding that line than I ever wanted to. Not philosophically. Physically. There Is Pain. And Then There Is Pain. I've been in a lot of pain. And one thing this experience has given me—something I hope I don't lose when this is all behind me—is a much greater sense of empathy for people who live in pain, people who are sick, injured, or debilitated, and people who simply cannot function the way the rest of us take for granted. When your body works, you don't think much about it. You get up. You walk. ...
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Building Through Battles

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UNMUTE Since the recent accident I was involved in on July 6, I've been dealing with the most excruciating pain I've ever experienced for the longest amount of time without a real window of peace or relief. I might get a few hours here and there, if that. Sometimes it feels like I'm going to be stuck like this. I've tried everything I can think of. Physical therapy. Chiropractic. Stretching. Yoga. Massage, including Thai massage, which has actually helped. Steroids, non-steroidal anti-inflammatories, muscle relaxers and pain relievers. I don't like taking medication, but here I am trying whatever I can to get back to normal—or just feel decent again. The pain isn't isolated to one spot. It's my neck and back. The occiput. Cervical. Thoracic. Lumbar. Sacrum. Ribs. Misalignments. Herniation. Tight muscles. Tendons. Ligaments. Inflammation. It's a lot. Even the people treating me can only do so much. I see several ...
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Getting Back Up

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UNMUTE AUDIO       A lot has happened since my last Life Is a Storm entry. I don't even know where to begin. The last entry was about my exploration of the transition between life and death. And then I almost died. I was struck by a truck at an intersection. My vehicle was destroyed, and that's why everything came to a pause here on Life Is a Storm . The moment I was struck was surreal. I saw the vehicle headed toward me. I couldn't do anything about it. It struck me, then plummeted into a pole and flipped over, facing the opposite direction from where it had been flying from. There's a lot I'm upset about regarding that incident, accident, occurrence—whatever you want to call it. All I know is those little dweebs driving that vehicle came out unscathed and laughing about the whole thing like it was a big joke. Yet they destroyed my life. They injured me. They destroyed my vehicle, my transporta...
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