The Calm

So much going on, so little time.

Lately it feels like everything is moving at once, and I’m just trying to keep up with it. For now, it’s going to be work and sleep. Not much room for anything else, not even myself.

There’s a lot shifting right now. Some of it good, some of it not. All of it heavy.

And if I’m being real, I don’t fully know where I stand in the middle of it… in the eye of the storm.

The mission is still in progress. I’ll try to create updates when the time is right… on the assignment, the flower mission, whatever you want to call it. It’s still moving, just not in a way that needs to be rushed or forced.

Mother’s Day is coming up, and I already know that one’s going to hit me hard.

Some things don’t get easier. You just try to learn how to carry them. Try.

So I’m staying in prayer.

Because when things get like this, that’s the only place that makes sense.

If you’re someone I love, just know you’re in mine. Quietly, consistently. I hope you can keep me in yours too.

I used to think that when people said they cared, when they said they loved you, it meant they would be there when things got heavy… especially during moments like this.

But I’m learning that’s not always how this world works. That’s not always the reality.

And maybe that’s part of the lesson too.

I’ve always been someone who shows up for people. I give what I can, when I can, and I do it from a real place.

But I’m also learning that not everything gets returned the same way.

Sometimes you give more than you receive.
Sometimes you’re there for people in ways they aren’t ready or able to be there for you.

And maybe that doesn’t always mean something about them.

But it does make you take a step back and ask yourself where you stand.

I don’t have all the answers on that yet.

Maybe it’s their loss.
Or maybe I’m no loss at all.

That’s something I’m still trying to understand… or maybe it’s something I’m learning to stop trying to understand.

I’ll figure that out when everything around me isn’t moving so fast, when things settle and I can see clearly again.

I try to tell others, and even remind myself, that we don’t know how much time we have here.

So there’s no reason to be anything other than loving, kind, caring, and there for each other.

But I can’t convince anyone of that. I can only express it.

And I know life is fragile.

That’s why I care the way I do.
That’s why I love the way I do.

For now, I’m stepping back.

Not disappearing. Not running.

Just not forcing anything to move before it’s ready.

Not everything needs to be said while it’s still moving. Some things make more sense once they’ve had time to settle.

So that’s where I’m at.

Letting the dust settle.

It’s that quiet space in between, where everything slows down just enough for you to catch your breath and find your footing again.

Until then… this is just the calm.

Much love.

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