Sh*t Magnet

Alright, so here’s the deal. 

First off, I want to talk about the whole sh*t magnet thing. Like I’ve mentioned in previous blog entries, it’s been a running family thing since I was younger. I always encounter these people who seem to float around life f*cking with other people — messing with other people — and people allow themselves to be messed with. They allow themselves to be doormats. 

But when these people end up confronting me — these disgusting people — I don’t bend. I don’t play that sh*t. I end up putting them in their place. 

Most of the time, these are ugly people in the sense that you can tell they have bad attitudes — the way they talk, the way they carry themselves. They move with poor energy. Maybe they need to tweak something about themselves. I don’t know. 

All I know is there are bad people in the world, and they treat other people horribly. And some good people they treat ill just allow it to happen. But for some reason, I’m always encountering them. And I’m not one to bend. I'm good with turning the other cheek when it's not so blatant. I mean c'mon. There's a line. There. Is. A. Line. There has to be.

So yeah, that’s when friction happens. That’s where the whole sh*t magnet thing comes in. 

I’ve been in different situations where I sometimes feel like God just puts me in place like, “Alright, you’re gonna handle this, right? This person already has it coming. Let me go ahead and put Carlos here.” 

I think that’s what happens. I kind of bring light to people who would normally be getting away with sh*t. Expose them.

Visit my 'Choosing Alignment' entry here.

Anyway, that aside, the sh*t magnet ties into actual sh*t that’s going on. I have birds sh*tting all over my car. It looks like a new paint job — a bunch of white dots all over it. The car is actually gray, but there’s white sh*t all over it. Spotty job. 

I’ve got birds sh*tting all over the yard. We’re getting that situated this week. 

That brings me to Robert’s jokes that he’s going to be trying at the next open mic event he goes to weekly — or however often he goes. He said he was going to be talking about birds and why he hates them. That’s what he told me anyway. 

I’m not sure if he’s actually going to bring the bird jokes out. But this is probably going to be the week I debut at open mic. My first open mic comedic debut. 

I’m going to bring it real. I’m going to bring my personality, my darkness, my life, death, and culture vibe. Life Is a Storm. That’s how I’m bringing it.

Now, that aside, I just want to bring to light that life has been a storm, and I’ve been attracting a lot of sh*t. I think it’s mainly because I’ve been getting right. You’re not on the adversary’s radar until you’re doing something right. 

He’s been kicking me left and right. Kicking me while I’m down. He’s a real f*cking asshole. 

I’m okay with that — because I’m on the side of God. God gave me a job. I’m appointed to it. This is what I’ll be doing until I exit this world — bringing people to God in my own way. 

This is how I’m doing it. He’s allowing me to do it this way. That’s my relationship with Him. Just like the way God talks to me and gives me signs — I know they’re particular. Specific to me. He speaks in different ways. He gives signs in different ways. You have to recognize them. You have to open your eyes. 

I am open to Him. I see Him. I know when He’s talking to me. I know when it’s specifically for me — when no one else would recognize it. He speaks in code, and I can pick that up. 

The adversary? He speaks in code too. He communicates in signs. He signs his work — autographs. Similar to God but different. He’s not really that powerful. He’s limited. He’s a creation of God. Beneath Him. He was cast down. Powerless. God allows him to run amuck. 

I’m backed by God. If God is for me, who can be against me? I’m upright. I’ll see His face. 

Untested faith cannot be trusted. Integrity isn’t tested where nothing is at stake. It’s revealed when it costs you something. If you allow small compromises, your integrity gets chipped away little by little. You need a solid foundation. In life. In spirituality. In relationships. Everything.

Now, Goose Island. I was in a tent, regulating after EMDR therapy. EMDR worked. I probably still need another session, but it worked. 

I turned on the audio Bible, and it landed on the exact part of Job I’d been thinking about for months — maybe even a year. God showing Job the universe. Showing him everything — creatures, space, time, precision — down to the molecular structure of creation. 

The precision of everything He does. It’s enormous. It’s overwhelming. Job realizes how small he is. Not worthless. Small. He understands he will never understand everything. He’s humbled. 

I see myself in Job. Not as an equal, but on a similar path. I know loss and grief and the effort of trying to remain upright.

Then Psalms came on. David talking to God like, “Won’t you just come down and destroy this place already? It’s bad. It’s ugly.” And I’m that person too. 

“God, why don’t You just come already? It sucks here. Get me out of here.” I felt that. 

“Save me, O God, for the waters are come into my soul. I sink in deep mire where there is no standing…” I feel like David sometimes. But I’m still here. I’m doing my job.

In Psalm 5:4–6 (NIV), he says: “For you are not a God who is pleased with wickedness; with you, evil people are not welcome. The arrogant cannot stand in your presence. You hate all who do wrong; you destroy those who tell lies. The bloodthirsty and deceitful you, Lord, detest.” 

And in Psalm 12 (NIV): “Help, Lord, for no one is faithful anymore; those who are loyal have vanished from the human race. Everyone lies to their neighbor; they flatter with their lips but harbor deception in their hearts. The words of the Lord are flawless, like silver purified in a crucible, like gold refined seven times. You, Lord, will keep the needy safe and will protect us forever from the wicked, who freely strut about when what is vile is honored by the human race.”

Psychopaths are pure evil. They couldn’t care less. They feed on the weak. Sociopaths as well. Not a care. No empathy.

Paraphrasing slightly:  I recently listened to a TikTok post from a self-identified, diagnosed narcissist warning young women about malignant narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths. Even lower-spectrum narcissists like myself — if you’re new here, 

I’m a diagnosed narcissist — can be a bit freaky too. When dealing with a malignant narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath, you are dealing with someone who has almost zero accountability and no empathy or compassion. 

Even if you fall completely in love with them, it won’t be long before they start asking you to do strange or inappropriate things. 

They may escalate to sexual assault, sexual abuse, and trafficking that would make your head spin. 

They will take advantage of a young woman who is impressionable, especially if she has any mental disorders. 

Autism, borderline personality disorder — they will take advantage of you. 

You may think you’re with a wonderful guy who will treat you well and that you’ve never met anyone like him. You haven’t — because what you’ve met is a f*cking monster. 

They will ask you to do things you’ve never imagined. They will cross your boundaries.

They will gaslight you. They don’t care about you. They are just trying to meet their sick needs. 

Guard yourself. Learn to say no. If they won’t respect it, walk away. Respect your boundaries. Some of them are highly dangerous and could ruin your life. 

These warnings are real. Protect yourself. 

There’s a docuseries called The Handsome Devil: Charming Killer. It chronicles the case of Wade Wilson, a Florida man convicted of murdering two women in 2019 — known as the “Deadpool Killer.” 

He gained notoriety for his bad-boy image, distinct tattoos, and a surprising social media following during his trial. 

In the trailer, he says he loves to kill women. He loves to feed on weakness. He couldn’t get enough. That’s real. He had admirers. That’s how perverse things are.

Earlier today, a TikTok post was brought to my attention about a woman who was man-hating. I listened to it, and she claimed she was on a spiritual journey. 

However, she was spewing hate — including racial hate. You cannot embark on a spiritual journey fueled by hate. Spiritual journey is paved with love, not hatred. 

What scared me most wasn’t just what she said — it was the comments. People were praising her, encouraging her, agreeing, amplifying the hate. It bothered me. Then I realized — sometimes people only know what’s around them: their immediate environment, their small community. 

There are billions of people in the world, countless cultures and regions. Yet some people base everything on the small circle they know. Still — it bothered me.

I get knocked down, but manage to stand upright. I might even partake in a comedy set later. Create new neural pathways. Possibly help to save a few souls. Maybe make a few laughs. Maybe bomb. I don’t care. 

It’s a new experience. I’m living. Like I said before, sometimes I feel like I’m in a waiting room, or like prison — just killing time until I’m out. 

I’m going to live, figure things out, do different things, because I have no choice. And I’m ok with that. This is where he has me, this is obviously where I need to be.